Swine flu or Neanderthink bug... Choices, hmmmmm....

Neanderthink is a choice. Swine flu isn't. Simple huh?

October 17, 2007 - Wednesday



That damned NEANDERTHINK bug...
Current mood: confused
Category: Romance and Relationships


I'm just sitting here trying to figure out why it is that alot of people around me are still going through the same old games and drama, no matter the age.

Checking messages on "their" man or woman's phone...

Checking myspace messages...

Looking for suspicious numbers...

Demanding "their" mate choose between "their" friends (opposite or same gender)...

Following "their" mate to find out where they're really going...

Popping up unexpectedly...

Checking phone records...

Taking pictures...

Setting up cameras...

Hiring private detectives...

Breaking stuff...

Becoming physically violent...

Being verbally abusive...

Simply being nosey for the purpose of catching "their" mate being unfaithful.

Wow... I've read that it's called "Neanderthink". I'm feeling abnormal lately because all that stuff isn't worth my time or energy and it seems to be the "in" trend. It's crazy when you see thirty, forty and fifty year olds doing stuff like that. I don't seem to understand. It seems like it's all around me. It goes both ways too. It's not just a girl being possessive and it's not just a guy being abusive. "Neanderthink" doesn't discriminate.

When a mate messes up, all "Neanderthink" symptoms become exaggerated and it's for nothing because the two usually end up together... regardless of the facts. It seems like a big ball of wasted energy to me. Pointless.

I just don't wanna deal with that damned "Neanderthink"bug. I say often that it's hard for me to trust; but, I think I'm wrong cause I probably trust too much. I trust completely that if a dude don't see what he's got with me, that's his loss. (Sounds kinda cocky, doesn't it? I really think I'm not though.) If a guy who likes me prefers the possessive "Neanderthink" attention instead of a focus on moving forward towards a progressive, positive, fulfilling, and happy life without drama, he's liking the wrong woman.

Maybe I'm lazy when it comes to love? Maybe I just analyze too much and read into stuff? Hmmmm.....

As soon as I get a sign that a guy is gonna be possessive with me... it's a big red flag & I back off. I guess I'm in the other part of my fantasy world right now where you can have love with mutual respect and "Neanderthink" isn't a required ingredient.

Hmmm.... maybe I should try the possessive "Neanderthink" role for a while. After all, it is what everyone else is doing. I fell for the myspace trap, why not "Neanderthink"? Naw, I've got other shit on my plate to deal with. Work, kids, business 1, school, events, holidays, dr. appointments. You know, normal shit. -----------business 2, business 3, gifted kids, goals, myspace, websites, promotions, performances. You know, not so normal shit.

No time for bugs here.

I'd rather be alone the rest of my life than to deal with the petty immature "Neanderthink" bug. Some jealousy is ok in a relationship; but, when it comes to invading your dude or girl's privacy, I feel like it's went into "Enough" mode aka "Neanderthink". If you're feeling like you've been struck by the "Neanderthink" bug, then chances are that something wasn't right in the relationship in the first place. You had your gut feeling and it won't matter what you found/find, you're gonna believe what you want.

If I get that gut feeling I'd rather detatch myself and focus on something positive to bring up others or my relationship. Focusing on the potential negatives will only cause stress in any area of life. So, if he/she wasn't cheating, are you determined to make him miserable by focusing on the negatives for the sheer satisfaction of being "right"? It all seems like too much work to me and it's way to common.

I guess I would prefer focusing all my creative energy into doing something nice and different for my guy. That private detective budget would make much more sense to me being used to go on a cruise with my man.

What happened to that "Love" bug? I wonder if that's the "Neanderthink"'s food source. Damn food chain!!!

Who knows maybe it's just a matter of time before the "Neanderthink" bug catches up with me again like in my teens and early twenties. Hopefully, it's like the chicken pox and I won't get it again. Wait, my case of "Neanderthink" wasn't that severe... I wonder if that increases my chances of getting it again. I wonder if they're trying to come up with a "Neanderthink" vaccine. Hey! Jordan wants to be a scientist... maybe he'll invent the vaccine! Better yet, maybe he'll invent the cure and win a nobel peace prize or something!!! Maybe it's the VITAMIN C I've been taking that's helping me stay immune for the moment? I think I'm off to Costco to stock up. SHEW "NEANDERTHINK" bug, don't bother me!!!! haha !!!! :-)

EXCERPTS FROM : http://psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-20060721-000004.html

Jealousy is either a fine featherduster or a blunt mallet, depending on how we perceive our own value on the mate market. Fine featherduster I choose to be.

Harmful jealousy springs from a weak sense of self. I think that's from both ends of the relationship, right?

Rational jealousy, which is a passionate concern and respect for the relationship ("Although I prefer your love, I never need a guarantee of it"), can help us attend to our partner's feelings without the rage, self-criticism and despair that characterize Neanderthink jealousy.

Neanderthink jealousy operates most often as a demand for constant reassurance that you will always be the first and only being in your partner's life and that you'd be diminished if your partner rejected you. I refuse to be diminished by the lack of anyone but God in my life.

By accepting that perfect reassurance cannot really exist and that you do not absolutely need it, you can redirect your efforts to improving your relationship. The energy spent seeking an ironclad guarantee of fidelity could be better spent, say, being the fun-loving person with whom your partner would want to have an affair. Girls just wanna have fun!!! :-)

Jealousy implies a shaky sense of self. Demanding chronic reassurance from your mate is a bottomless pit. Instead, remind yourself that:

You are a whole person with or without your mate, but because you prefer a good relationship, you will maintain open and honest communication.

Your sense of self is best kept independent of your mate. You can function as an autonomous human being in a relationship.

Harmful jealousy is a measure not of love but of insecurity. Appropriate jealousy prompts you to address any problems in the relationship.

Rage, vengeance and self-hatred are clues that your jealousy has morphed into Neanderthink.

Irrational jealousy may once have served rational ends, but no one has the power to make you feel bad about yourself—unless you grant it.