It's My Bubble

My Twittascope: Cancer
You often need the physical closeness of those you love, yet today you may have resistance to anyone else's advances. Your current emotional retreat won't likely be from fear of intimacy; rather you are working on becoming more independent and this is one way for you to make progress. Stretching your wings is healthy; just don't alienate your most loyal supporters in the process. Saturday, April 18, 2009

dang!!!! that was right on the money... i've been blessed with the most wonderful man in my life... he's by my side even thru all my crazy mood swings.... when he's here, i'm the happiest woman alive... when I start thinking about it I start to question a couple of things tho... it seems too good to be true and my fight or flight instinct kicks in.... I try to push him away like I have every other man in my life... u see I have had this bubble around me for a long time when it comes to men... who wouldn't when they have been thru the shit I have??? I have had chances with some of the best and most respected men; but, I never allowed them to really get close enuf to see the real me... my last little heartbreak woke me up to that... I didn't really realize that it could be a mistake but I think it was...

after 19 years apart, i'm now blessed to be reunited with someone from my past that I can share every little bit of my world with, good & bad... I keep finding myself trying to push him away... I guess i'm waiting for him to wanna leave like everyone else... opening up my bubble is a new concept in my life and a man who's by my side regardless is a new concept too. i'm feeling worse every day that i've not only pushed away those who have tried to get close... but i've blamed them for leaving when i've never really given my all...

it's all some scary stuff right now and i've vowed to either become lesbian or a nun if this doesn't work out... u can laugh, but i'm kinda serious at this point... I don't think i'll ever take this chance again in my life.